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| Elevator Bank at Amalie Arena |
My sister, Eve, recently invited me to a Paul Simon concert at Amalie Arena in Tampa. I've learned a few things from that experience.
Apparently, I am not the only one that has problems remembering one what floor I parked. Normally, I write the floor and section in a small notebook I keep in my purse. With this creative solution that reminds patrons to remember, I only needed to take a pic! A gratitude of thank you to the people that thought outside the box. And, thank you for helping me feel better about myself.
- When Eve invited me, she told me we would be seated in the Terrace section. It made no difference to me and I accepted the invitation with happiness. What I didn't know was that the angle of the seating in this section was death defying and not a happy place for those that suffer from acrophobia. Even walking up the flight of stairs closest to our seats caused me panic. Eventually, we took a right to what we thought was our row. There were people that were already seated and they politely stood up to allow us to pass by. I was in full blown frozen mode and forced myself to walk, but not without the kindness of these strangers. They let me hold on to their arms or they took my hand as I passed in front of them. When we realized we should have taken a left instead of a right, I was filled with dread but I soldiered on! I was not going to pussy out, dammit, and we turned around. Plus, I had no choice. This same group of people stood up again to allow us to pass. Fear was pressing down on me as the people, for a second time, helped me walk by. One of them was an amazing woman. She kept up a steady stream of encouragement telling me that I was doing great! I was fine! Everything was OK! I was almost there. I knew she had to be a mother; I bet she was a good one. These people were gracious, empathetic, and without hesitation let down the societal barriers to help someone in need. I apologized profusely as I held on to them and made myself keep moving. One of them said, "At least you admit it." I replied, "I have no choice!" I don't even know what their faces look like because my eyes ping ponged between their arms and the floor. I do know what their hearts look like.
- We finally got to our seats and I realized that it didn't help me much to be seated. The backs of the seats in front of us were ankle height providing no barrier to a headfirst rolling downhill drop to my death. Adrenalin kept shooting through my body; escaping the situation was what the oldest evolutionary part of my brain, the brain stem, was telling my body to do. I made a comment to Eve that if I were sitting next to someone like a husband, I would ask him to drape his leg over my lap as maybe it would make me feel more secure. Eve offered to do so and it helped. She said it was comfortable. I don't know if she was telling me the truth or not but I put my hand on her leg and held on making sure not to cut off her blood supply from a death grip.
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| Lolly watching me talk to Poppy, who is in my arms. |
As I reflect on becoming another year older, I am less patient and more patient, depending on the circumstance. I have learned that others' behavior is their problem, not mine. I don't have to take it to heart and I don't have to act on it. Being a loner by nature is not a bad thing, just different. I am not a beauty queen and that is okay. (Thank you, thyroid cancer.) Beauty is more than what size I wear and if I can talk to you, make you laugh, or help you, I am beautiful enough. Sorrows, joys, frustrations, and accomplishments are cars on a train and I watch as each one passes by. I don't stand at the station waiting for the train to stop to get on.
Please see the link below. I continue to strive, to learn. To let go.
https://www.school-for-champions.com/religion/buddhism_four_noble_truths.htm#.W50UY_ZReUk
