My latest cancer test results were not what I expected or wanted. The numbers were higher than the last time I was tested a little over a year ago. It took me weeks to absorb this bad news. It wasn't the doctor that called me but his nurse and she had no idea why I wasn't dancing in the streets over the results after all, they were less than 1. Nothing gets done when the results are under a 1.
She didn't know I've been through this yearly number increase before and ended up needing a second more extreme surgery. On top of that I have some sort of knobby growths one on the top of my left foot and the other on my forehead near my hairline. I've had three courses of radioactive iodine treatment so secondary cancer is in the back of my mind. I see my general practitioner today to talk to her about that and also getting refills on prescriptions.
My personal life is full of crazy shit including Jim's bat shit-ass crazy ex-wife. My mom is slowly losing her mind and with that even more of her histrionic personality presents itself as the "I shouldn't say that" filter erodes. I am in the throes of foreclosure because of my bat shit-ass crazy ex-husband.
"Drugs are bad, mmkay?"
So, the good things are that Jim and I are seeing an excellent nurse/social worker. She is definitely heaven sent with that combination! I have the best boss ever! I have the best dog ever! Let's just end this on a high note, mmkay?
Hope you are doing better and everything is benign. Scary stuff.
ReplyDeleteThank you, bluepearl. I have been dealing with thyroid cancer since 2005. It is back to a wait and see game for another year and then a recheck of the numbers. The great disappointment of the test results has been downgraded to a quiet hum in the background.
DeleteYou might want to be extra careful regarding breast cancer as well. Maybe you can get a gene test for this because certain genes make them related. Cancer is a bastard. I have had breast cancer twice (doing ok so far) so I know how you feel on the "waiting game". All I can say is two friends have passed away suddenly, so no one is guaranteed tomorrow. We all only have this moment. I think it was Tagore who said that butterflies live not in months but in the moment. Be well!
DeleteCongratulations on being on the winning side of cancer - twice! Thank you for making me feel not so alone in my feelings. After my second surgery I decided it was time to do what was necessary to be happy in my life and on every new birthday I am glad to be older and have more white hairs. I wish you health and happiness, too.
DeleteBTW...I have a friend who had thyroid cancer that has spread to her nodes and that was five years ago and she is still doing well. I don't know what numbers they are following for you but some of the so-called tumour markers are very inaccurate and they don't do them at John Hopkins for b.c. stages 1 to 3 for precisely the reason that they make a person worry...and usually for n o good reason. That being said, the big "C" is a tough journey but what I have learned is that worry steals today but won't change tomorrow. It took me the 2nd time around to realize all the worry in the world didn't prevent the second primary. So hell! Live! I hope you are pursuing your writing as you have very impressive skills. Take care!
DeleteMine spread to the lymph nodes around my neck, too, and that is why I had to have a second surgery that removed quite a bit of them. I hope your friend is doing well.
DeleteThank you for letting me know you like my writing. That always makes me happy!