The Car Accident - What Just Happened?

The fire is beautiful as the flames reach up to the stars. Sit close to me.

It was December 15th, 2014, and I was on my way to work. Monday mornings were always bad as the traffic was heavier than the other weekdays. I was about fifteen to twenty minutes into my one hour commute. I was coming up to an intersection that was always a problem because at the light a private high school was on the left. There was a very long left turn lane but the cars still backed up into the next lane over. Even though the light was green, I was forced to slow down and stop. Checking my right side mirror, I saw that traffic was coming too thick and fast for me to merge so I resigned myself to wait it out.

I remember checking my rear view mirror and wondering why the woman behind me was trying to merge into the constant flow of traffic. Before I blanked out I watched the dashboard jiggle in my frame of vision. After that, my next memory is thinking I must have been hit. Why am I just sitting here? I need to get out of the car and look at the damage.

I opened my door and getting out saw behind me two cars and one pickup truck, in that order. Everyone was already talking on their cell phones. I wondered again how long had I been sitting in my car and why were the others so far ahead of me?

I walked around to the back of my car and nothing looked damaged. For a brief second I was elated. Then I walked around to the right side of my car and my elation turned into misery. My beloved Taurus' back right tire was at a 45 degree angle turned into the body of the car. The right rear panel was dinged up. I was not going to drive the car away from this accident. I also thought the damage was a death knell and I would have to buy a new car. Now I was wondering why my air bag hadn't deployed.

I think it was about this time I realized the car was still running so I got in and turned it off. Every action I was taking was an effort. I knew I was all jumbled up and pushed myself to get clear thinking. Phone. I had to call someone. Who do I call? I couldn't think straight.

For whatever reason, and I don't know why I thought it, I knew no one had called the police so I did. I tried to communicate the best I could to the 911 dispatcher where the accident was and how many cars were involved. She asked if anyone needed an ambulance. I called out to the three others her question and they answered that they didn't.

Obediently, I stayed on the phone with the dispatcher until I heard the sirens.

Are you warm enough? It feels good to get this off my chest.

Car Accident - The Beginning

I am different now.  I'm not who I used to be.  On December 14, 2014, I was the 4th car to be hit in a domino of rear end collisions. When everyone else was standing outside their cars on their cell phones calling for help, I was sitting in mine. I had a closed head injury and had lost consciousness.

I have been released to write about this since my lawsuit is closed.  I have waited a long time to get this experience out of me and written for you.  I hope you enjoy the trip I want to take you on.

I was stopped in traffic when hit. The impact caused my brain to be knocked against the inside of my skull. My frontal lobes and right side of my brain were injured. The front part of the brain is the part that is involved in planning, organizing, problem solving, selective attention, personality and a variety of "higher cognitive functions" including behavior and emotions. While I have healed quite a bit, it has been well over a year and I think who I am at this time is who I will be forever.

I now have ADD and it is hard to concentrate. I still experience memory issues but certainly not as bad as it was for me initially. If I want to remember something, I have to write it down. It is commonplace for people to inform me of discussions or decisions that have taken place and I can't remember them.

Writing is harder for me. I am finally writing the book some of you have asked me to do!  But it is difficult now and sometimes I get frustrated with myself. The people in my writers' group have been invaluable to me and keep me forging ahead even when it is like walking through knee high snow drifts.

I am also less emotional than I used to be. In future posts I will go into a lot of detail about this. It was the hardest change to get used to as the memory of who I used to be faded.

Lets get cozy around the fire pit and I'll tell you my story. I love the sounds of the snaps and crackles.