She was happy yet scared. How selfish was it of her that as Jeff faced the surgery that he needed to save his life she was worried about how she would once again continue on making a life for herself without the one she loved. She thought back again and compared the two. Now was different from then.
She had loved Tim with every molecule of her body. From the first time she saw him, something fantastical and strange happened and she felt complete. Those feelings of searching for something, needing something else that she couldn't make sense of always playing like a recording on repeat had left her. They just weren't there anymore. That is why on that day when he was drunk and took the car keys she thought her life had ended, too. She thought she would never recover from the loss and the guilt but mostly from the pain. The pain was what was overwhelming. That part of herself that she finally found and reveled in as it snapped easily into place into her core had been ripped from her. Before meeting him she knew she was missing something but it was undefinable. After that awful night she knew exactly what it was that she was missing and that she would never have it back. The incompleteness drilled deeply through her heart and kept going until it made a cavern in her soul. That was why she could hardly get out of bed. That was why she didn't care if she ate. Her cat, Lovey, was the only companionship she could tolerate. Her therapist was the one that pulled her up and helped her to find herself again.
Rose heard Jeff's footsteps as he reached the screen door. He walked as if he were a much larger man. "Hey, Sweetheart. You OK," he asked as he looked at her through the mesh.
Rose swiveled in the chair and got up. "Yep. Hungry?"
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