You say bologna, I say....bologna.

It was last week when I walked into the grocery store. Have you noticed a lot of my stories involve grocery stores?! Anyway, I walked through the produce section stopping only to see what was on sale. I had a short list and didn't want to make a day trip out of it.

I normally don't buy deli meats because they are so expensive but this time I slowed down to look at the glass deli case display. I don't know if you have ever eaten turkey pastrami but it's a nice change of pace and a half pound is doable. Much less fat than regular but basically the same great taste. I slowed my cart to a stop and looked around for the deli person. From my right down at the bakery a woman yelled to me that she would be with me in a minute. I yelled back, "Okay," hopefully relating with my tone that I wasn't in a hurry. I could wait.

I perused the rest of my deli options and noticed the German bologna. Hm. It wasn't expensive, either.

All of a sudden a man was on the other side of the counter. He scared me for a second because I was expecting the woman to show up from my right. He smiled and I noticed he was missing a couple of his teeth. "What can I get you, Ma'am?" There was something about him that was attractive because his aura, being, self, soul was kind. Have you ever met someone and immediately knew they were a nice person? "Do you know what you want?"

I smiled back. "Yes. A half pound of the turkey pastrami sliced thin, please."

"A half pound?"

"Yes. A half pound."

He walked around looking for the package of meat. I've always wondered what the other side of the deli case looked like. The counter person never pulls the package you see through the glass. Are meats thrown haphazardly? Are they in the same order as we view? He was looking around for what seemed like an unusually long time. I thought this guy was going to have to walk down the street to find the turkey pastrami. "A half a pound, right?"

"Yes. That's right." Me not being very nice myself, I thought, "Ask me again."

Once he found the loaf, he walked over to the slicer, ran the hunk of meat through once, and presented to me the example. Upon handing me the slice on the deli paper I told him, "That's good. Thanks."

Smiling, he walked back to the slicer. I was left holding the slice so I ate it. I wasn't all that hungry but I didn't want to insult him. Now I had the piece of paper. I balled it up as I looked around for a garbage receptacle. No such luck so I stuffed it in my jean's pocket and hoped I would remember to throw it out at home.

Walking over, he handed me the pastrami. "Anything else today?"

"Thank you. Yes. A half pound of the Wunderbar® German Bologna, please."

"Excellent choice! It is the best German bologna around."

I felt like he just approved my wine choice! I didn't know what to say. "Oh! Great!" What I was  thinking was that I picked it because it was the least expensive available and I hoped it didn't have ingredients, had I known what they were, that I would really not want to eat.

Following his routine, he came back to the counter and handed me not one but two slices of bologna on a piece of paper. Seeing this deli anomaly, I looked up at him. Did he know he did this? He read my face, nodded and smiled. "Thank you," I said. 

All of this was starting to feel different. He turned back to the slicer. Now I had to eat two slices of bologna and I was definitely not hungry. He was being so kind I couldn't insult him so I took one of the slices and started eating it slowly. I really wished there was a trash receptacle of some kind  nearby but I still didn't spy one.

He was back at the counter sooner than expected. Handing over the package of bologna to me, we smiled at each other and I thanked him. He said, "You come in anytime. I will be here and feed you."

So! There was that.

Did I look like I needed that kind of charity? 

I'm sure all of you people that are good with quick snappy replies could think of any number of things to say in response. I, on the other hand, am not good at that. My mother is the Queen of funny retorts. Too bad I didn't inherit that talent from her like my sister, Eve, did.

I think I just nodded and said, "Thank you." I can't remember! 

I walked away from the deli counter still holding once slice of bologna in my hand. Shit. Now I have to walk around grocery shopping while holding it or effing eat it.....which I did.