Elsa and the Bear

Elsa ran out of the cave. Her chest heaving and her legs pumping with all of her might, she shielded her eyes with her arm as the bright sun exploded around her. Never again did she want the darkness to trick her into thinking it was more suited to her than the warmth and glow of the sun.

Her long brown hair whipped around her face as she turned back to check on the distance between her and the cave. Feeling safe that its black tendrils couldn't reach her, she slowed her pace and caught her breath. Elsa promised herself she would never have to feel those rough chalky arms around her shoulders again. She shivered remembering how black ragged pieces would break off and cut her flesh as the tendril wrapped around her forcing her closer.

Up ahead was the golden field where all of her favorite flowers bloomed. Lilac bushes full of heavy creamy purple blooms decorated the air with their perfume and tickled the inside of her nose. Poppies danced their orange delight as their flower heads waved in the soft breeze. The tall irises boasted their glorious pageantry, visually pleasing. The tiny Forget-Me-Nots and Pansies played patty-cake choosing to stay close to the earth.

Elsa found a spot in the tall soft vividly green grass and plopped down. It was warm, but not hot. The sun, high in the sky, winked at her. "Rest now, Elsa. It is a beautiful summer's day. The grass is your bed. The chipmunks and squirrels your lookouts, tirelessly watchful. Do you see how the birds fly? Can you hear their song? They are singing you a lullaby. Rest and be at peace."

So tired, Elsa looked down at the scars the darkness had left on her arms. All she wanted to do was rest and forget. She looked back up at the sun, who smiled back down on her. Looking around at the flowers dancing and playing, bending to the gentle winds, her eyes grew very heavy. Her body and mind ached with the need to sleep. As she reclined, the grass became her mattress and the earth her floor, their distinct odors hopscotching around her, depending on the wind's direction.

She could still see the light through the lids of her closed eyes. Opening and closing her fingers, Elsa felt the grass. The beating of Elsa's heart slowed to an even pace and soon she was asleep.

A big black bear came by and placed a basket of berries at her feet. His brown muzzle contrasted with his thick dark luxurious coat. He lied down next to her; he would wait for her to awaken. Elsa, like most of us do, turned in her sleep and bumped into the bear. He stayed still while she nuzzled into him, the brown of her hair the same shade as the bear's snout.

The sun drifted lazily in the sky. Sensing the change in time, Elsa awoke. Opening her eyes, she saw darkness and panicked. Was she back in the cave? No, she couldn't be. Soft and big. What was lying next to her blocking out the sun's direct rays? Pushing against the bear's large belly, she sat up. The bear, not wanting to frighten her, did not move. He only smiled and said, "Hello."

"Hello," Elsa answered. Then, feeling impolite, she introduced herself. "I'm Elsa. Who are you?"

"I am Bear."

"Just 'Bear'?"

"Yes."

"Hello, Bear."

He smiled again and sat up. Instead of his big body frightening her, she felt good. Protected.

Pointing to the basket of berries, he said, "I brought you some berries. I thought you might be hungry and thirsty."

Delicately, Elsa picked up one berry. Popping it into her mouth, she chewed and swallowed. "You are a wonderful berry picker, Bear. This is delicious."

Nodding, he answered, "Thank you. Please eat as many as you would like."

So she did. She also was thinking that she and Bear should be friends. "Would you like to be my friend," she asked.

"That's why I am here, Elsa. To be your friend and for you to be mine."

Elsa, her tummy full, stood up. So did Bear. He was tall! She took his paws in her hands and they looked into each other's eyes. Love filled their hearts.  He asked her, "Are you ready now?"

Elsa said, "Yes." His left paw holding her right hand, they started walking. Elsa, needing to make sure, turned her head back one more time looking for the cave. She couldn't see it. Bear, understanding, patiently waited. Only a few seconds had passed when Elsa cleared her throat and looked up to Bear. "I'm ready."

Scrapings from the bottom of the frying pan

First Scraping
I have a $5,000 deductible on my health insurance.  This is for Individual coverage, mind you.  If I had Family coverage, it would be $10,000.  When I last saw my endocrinologist we discussed me getting a series of shots and then a blood test that will give me a true reading as to the possibility of the thyroid cancer growing again.  This can't be done by only drawing blood and then running tests because my thyroid medication is dosed to keep me at a certain level of whatever that inhibits cancer cell growth.  (I'm sure you don't want a science lesson here so I'm keeping it simple.)  The shots are very expensive....somewhere to the tune of $2,000.  When my doc found out what my deductible was, he offered another suggestion.  Since I had the neck dissection one year ago, we could bypass the shots/blood test and just do the neck ultrasound this September.  He said I should make the ultrasound appointment in the morning and then an office appointment with him same day in the afternoon.  I thought that was a good idea and agreed to it.

Now that it has been a month and a half since I made that decision, I realize it isn't going to work for me.  It was these annual shots/testing results that made me want to change docs in the first place.  (See earlier posts.)   

Second Scraping
It's Spring and I am back to mowing and planting.  I love all of it. I feel so much satisfaction after having mowed a row, turning around and seeing the difference in the height of the grass.  I could compare it to the immediate results one experiences when ironing clothes, but I hate ironing.  Actually, I hate everything about ironing except for the hiss a steam iron makes when setting it back upright.  That's kind of cool.

I love all of the different flowers, except for orange marigolds.  I look at them and feel pissed off.  Weird, right?  They are innocent and I am holding back from snapping off their heads.  Other than my issues with marigolds, I find the differences in flower's leaf construction, bloom, colors, textures, and smells intriguing.  My blood pressure lowers and I just want to sit and stare.  I could sit on the forest floor for hours taking in the different sounds the trees, animals, and bugs make.  I love the patterns of light made by the sun's rays shining through the canopy overhead.  Where the sun breaks through those spots are warm and toasty.

Third Scraping
I don't like sweating.  Because of my medication, I sweat more easily and it is gross.  I won't even try to pretend this is not gross by calling it perspiration.  If I just sweated from my armpits, I would be almost OK with that but my head is the sweatiest part of my body.  Sweat runs through my hair down my neck and behind my ears.  It interferes with my vision as it falls from my eyebrows.  It makes my eyeglasses slip down my nose.  For those of you familiar with West Side Story, sing along with me.....I feel pretty.  Oh so pretty....