Learning to let go is proving to be a lesson I keep circling back to and each time I do so I want to kick my own ass for forgetting that I need to do it! Life is so much simpler when one lets go. I don't need to control everything. Life does not fall apart if I don't orchestrate it.
There is a horseback riding term called "giving the horse his/her head". When a rider does this, the rider loosens the reigns so that the horse, instead of being directed by the rider, directs itself. In sticky situations a rider will allow the horse to guide them through. The rider recognizes when this is necessary and at the appropriate time takes the reigns back. I need to learn to recognize under what circumstances it is right to loosen or tighten my grip.
Letting go doesn't mean not taking responsibility. It doesn't mean I don't have to do anything or make any decisions. It does mean that I don't always have to be the band leader coordinating the instruments so that they are playing the same tune that is echoing inside my head. I don't always have to be right. Letting go isn't hard when I remind myself that when I do it I am less burdened, less stressed, more at peace, and the sound of gears grinding ceases.
Letting go means acknowledging that the other person is right.....and I am not. Oh, how that bruises my ego but on the other hand why would I think I should always be right? Who is always right? That's another burden from which I need to be released. Why did I create all of these obnoxiously impossible rules for me to follow? I don't need them anymore.
I've been carrying around a whole bunch of unnecessary tools in my tool belt and with each step they were either banging into one of my thighs, pressing into my waist, or tripping me up. I'm working towards detaching each troublesome tool and tossing it behind me as I go so that as I move forward it is forever in my past.
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