The Question Mark

There is no normal. There is what is acceptable at present. You can compare it to what used to be acceptable or what you think should be acceptable.

There is no reality. There is what we are experiencing now. You can compare it to what you have experienced or what you think you should be experiencing.

All around you things are happening. Depending on what you choose to focus on is what you see.

Squirrel on utility pole, November 2016

Last week we had a cool spell. For us that means it was in the seventies. I opened the two windows in the house that work along with my front door. After two years of asking, my landlord finally installed a screen door. Having the fresh air circulate throughout the house was magnificent. The dog and cats lifted their noses to examine the new smells.

It was in the evening and I remembered I hadn't gone to check the mail. This is an old neighborhood so we all have mailboxes on posts in front of our houses. As I walked the length of the front yard, I noticed the arm had been swung in the "up" position signaling the mailman there was outgoing mail inside. When I stepped off the curb onto the street, flashing lights caught my eye. A couple of houses down, on the corner, was a silent police car with its lights on and motor running. As far as I could tell, all of the activity was taking place inside one of the houses. An uncomfortable feeling squeezed my stomach as I pulled open the little mailbox door. I have way too many memories of what can happen in a house that causes the police to silently be at your door.

Inside was a letter to a former occupant. It looked personal as opposed to a bill or professional correspondence. Both the return and mailing address were handwritten. Being the Type A personality that I am, since whoever left the letter hadn't, I brought the envelope inside so that I could write on it, "RTS. Not at this address."

As I walked back to the street, I was listening hard. No strange noises. Just quiet. Too quiet. When the police are around, my neighbors become smoke. The cop car was still there.

I put the letter in the mailbox and walked back in my house. Closing the screen door behind me, I turned to look back outside. How was I to determine the situation? Should I close my windows? Should I close my door? Was it time to move? I was thinking about these things when I spotted the squirrel. It scampered up the utility pole all the way to the top. In all of the years I have been consciously paying attention, I have never seen a squirrel do that.

I grabbed my phone and went outside to take the squirrel's picture. At first it looked around and then with quick jerky squirrel moves it turned to the right and then to the left. At some point in these few seconds, he (using "he" in a generic pronoun kind of way) formed a question mark with his tail as if asking me back, "I see you are questioning. What do you think you should do?"

His mission accomplished, he scooted back to the ground. A little weird-ed out but feeling much more at peace, I went back in the house. A change is on its way.